Beer & drinking quotes
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."
Henry Lawson
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me — so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons
"It's a deal."
Homer's brain
"There can't be good living where there is not good drinking."
Benjamin Franklin
"I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety."
William Shakespeare, King Henry V
"Life ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity."
George DuMaurier
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
Homer Simson in The Simpsons
"The government will fall that raises the price of beer."
Czech saying
"Everybody's old enough for a beer, ain't that right, Mule?"
Jack Nicholson
"Religions change, beer and wine remain."
Harvey Allen (1889-1949)
"I think this would be a good time for a beer."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire."
David Rains Wallace
"Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer."
Frederick the Great
"It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer."
Frederick the Great
"You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are."
Colonel Adolphus Busch
"We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer."
Jimmy Buffett
"I work until beer o'clock."
Steven King
"Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane asylums … give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer. The souls of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could make use of beer."
Henry Miller
"Beer is an improvement on water itself."
Grant Johnson
"Everyone needs something to believe in … and I believe I'll have another beer."
Steve Phelps
"I drink with impunity … or anyone else who invites me."
W.C. Fields
"Here's to a long life and a merry one, A quick death and an easy one, A pretty girl and a true one, A cold beer — and another one."
Lewis Henry
"Drink up and be somebody!"
The Green Jackets
"Beer glorious beer. Sing the praises of the first man to take barley and ferment the results now known as beer. Tip a cold pilsner to that unknown brewer. Give thanks to the beer god. I know not what course others may take but as for me … give me another beer!"
John Walentik
"I never drink beer before noon. Lucky for me, it is always after noon somewhere."
Anonymous
"And on the seventh day, God made beer."
Anonymous
"Everything I wanted to know about life I learned from beer."
Anonymous
"You don't like jail? Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there."
Charles Bukowski
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
Jack Handy
"One more drink and I'd be under the host."
Dorothy Parker
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart
"A drink a day keeps the shrink away."
Edward Abbey
"With heigh! The sweet birds, O how they sing! Doth set my pugging tooth on edge. For a quart of ale is a dish for a king."
William Shakespeare
"Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world."
Kaiser Wilhelm
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Ernest Hemingway
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
Brian O'Rourke
"Blessed is a mother who gives birth to a brewer."
Enscription at the U Fleku brewery in Prague, Czech Republic
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"There is nothing worse than a closed pub."
Judy Ashworth, Californian alehouse pioneer
"There is nothing worse than an empty homebrew bottle."
Keith Kayler-Thomson, homebrew shop proprietor, Geelong, Victoria, Australia
"While beer brings gladness, don't forget that water only makes you wet."
Harry Leon Wilson
"No solider can properly fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer."
John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough
"Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation."
Meyer Breslau 1880
"For any country to be a country you have to have an air force, a football team and a beer. You can get by without the air force and the football team but you have to have the beer."
Frank Zappa
"He who has not been at a tavern knows not what a paradise it is."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"If you can boil water, you can brew beer."
Homebrewers' saying
"I recommend bread, meat, vegetables and beer."
Sophocles
"From man's sweat and God's love beer came into this world."
Saint Arnold of Metz, the patron saint of brewers
"Give a man a beer and he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew and he'll waste a lifetime."
Homebrewers' saying
"Our liver is happy, our heart is joyful. May Ninkasi live together with you."
From Hymn to Ninkasi, the Sumerian beer goddess (1800BC)
"Some of my best friends are beers."
Beer-lovers' saying
"If God had wanted us to filter our beer, he wouldn't have given us livers."
Larry Bell, Kalamazoo Brewing Company, Kalamazoo, Michigan, US
"Another one of them new worlds. No beer, no women, no pool parlors, no nothin' ."
Earli Holliman in Forbidden Planet (1956)
"They who drink beer will think beer."
Washington Irving
"I'm allergic to grass. Hey, it would be worse; I could be allergic to beer."
Golfer Greg Norman
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"It was as natural as eating, and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking … beer."
Ernest Hemingway
"Whoever makes poor beer is transferred to the dung hill."
City bylaw, Danzig (now Gdansk), Poland (1000)
"Good beer makes its own friends."
Charles Jerome Koch, brewer and great-grandfather of the founder of Samuel Adams Brewery
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